Silence and voice

This weekend I had an opportunity to live in silence for 2 days. It was wonderful. I learned a lot. The most important lesson I learned was that I have not liked my voice lately. The tone, the words, the comments, the volume. The voice I’ve been using is not my true voice. It is the voice of mindlessness and anger, the voice of frustration and fear, resentment and reactivity.
I’ve been feeding and watering this voice so that it’s become my default.
This weekend, however, silencing that voice was such a gift. I learned through that silence that my true voice is still there. It needs lots of gentle tending: fertilizer, sun, and rain. But it is a perennial, and will return.
I left the retreat determined to become a voice gardener. I will provide everything I need to grow my true voice, while helping my other voice transform into compost to give nutrients.